wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
