She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
