nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
