just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
