i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
