At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
