You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
