from now on my penis is your penis
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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