The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
