Midget sex pt 2 tonight
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
