Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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