me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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