Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can't turn off my feet"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
