Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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