Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
