we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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