More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The chlamydia really affected his face.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
