I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
