i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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