Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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