Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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