i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
