the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
