At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
