Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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