I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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