I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Congratulations! We have a period
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
