Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
