And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
