Dude my mom stole all your condoms
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
