i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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