is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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