Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
