Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
ok first of all what the fuck
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
