Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
