Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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