Already got asked if we're dating
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
