I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
