How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
