I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
