Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so let's talk penis.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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