Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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