also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
