If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i now understand why vodka
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