you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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