I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
