I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
