i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
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