You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
