Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
