i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
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