PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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